In silence, some of our minds are loud. Many of us are rummaging through all the clutter that pollutes our train of thought and often times, we reveal through oral dictation, the very polluted thoughts we have; from biased opinions, to judgments, and uneducated guesses, to rotten remarks. Silence has had no choice but to…
I have been gone a while. I have come back a few times, to try and write something, but I didn’t. I didn’t think I had anything great to say. I read something the other day, that said, “where you are, is the perfect place to be, it’s where’s you’re supposed to be.” I don’t think people are living these grande lives that are displayed on Facebook and even blogs. I think I was so worried I’d sound so boring. But check out below, if you like. I talk about what I’ve been up to, and whats been new.
I know it was a while ago, but Christmas went ok. It actually went pretty well, since, most other Christmases since my early 20s have felt like shit. I don’t think my family changed. Maybe a little. I think I changed. Anyway, it went well.
I started frequenting a mental health support forum, online. I actually really like it and think its a good place to frequent. I feel supported there and support others. I also started getting more comfortable calling a helpline when I need to talk and no one is around. It had been helpful, but, now I’m volunteering in their office there, and I have been very shy about calling there. Perhaps I can find a different number to call.
I still don’t have a job, and actually my case may get closed for a little while at the support organization I was getting help at for employment. But I am working hard on my own. I just started seeing a new therapist who I like, and she is very professional. She’s going to help me explore my hesitancy and fear about working, and we are going to form a plan to start working. Someone once said to me, our relationships with our therapists is like shining a diamond. A diamond has many sides and facets. One therapist can help shine one side, another can help shine a different side. I am finding this to be true with switching therapists currently. One side was so shiny, really shiny, but there were things she couldn’t help me with. I really appreciated her, and liked her, because we clicked right away, when I started seeing her in 2015. My diagnosis changed, and she understood things about me that made me feel normal. I am normal (mostly, haha). But It was time to move on.
I started taking zumba classes at my local gym. I love it. I love to dance. I fell out of going to strength class since last December, but I want to go back. I went to the nature center to walk around too. I hadn’t been there in forever. I started going back to my knitting group. I still don’t really know anybody, except 1 person, but they’re nice. It’s still hard to get myself to do stuff, by the way. But I’m not giving up. I’ll never give up. Perhaps its my purpose to learn how I tick. I’ve started reading James Clear blogs.
I started going to a wellness coach to talk about food, mainly, but also about other stuff. She recommended the book Constant Cravings to me. I find that she’s a good perspective to have. I only go once a month, and I feel good doing something about my health.
Sometimes I have really bad days, bad moments. You probably won’t see me posting on those days. But maybe I’ll tell you about the meditation class I signed up for and failed so hard at in my next post.
Ok, that’s all for now. I bid you adieu, and pew pew pew!