Reasons for this blog

Hi.  My name is Amy.  I’m a 33 year old woman.  I am honestly creating this blog, because I have depression and want to document my journey in becoming a healthier and happier person.  I guarantee it will probably not be anything like Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project.  For one, she doesn’t have depression and two, she’s super organized!  But it will be like mine.  Unique. I would like to be accountable for something, inspire and empower others, and document my progress.

So about me.  Well, let’s see.  There are negatives and the positives.

The negatives: I am on disability for depression and anxiety, I don’t have a boyfriend / husband / partner, I don’t really have a lot of friends at this time in my life, I live with my parents, I don’t have a job.

The positives: The above negatives can all be turned into positives, I believe.  I am also working to change my situation, so that I will someday not only work, but have a profession, etc etc.  I have more self help books than the average person would probably want to admit, and I read them.  A lot of people have told me they think I should be a counselor.  I take this as a huge compliment, especially since its something I think about doing.  I like to doodle and draw, dance, learn new things, read, listen to music, walk in nature, laugh.  I am currently working on and succeeding at getting out of my house to do things in the real world.  These are things like attending a meditation group (which in turn, has gotten me meditating on my own time), attending a knitting group, trying to go to more meet up group outings, going to a dance class, and pondering doing other things I don’t quite feel ready for.  I’m in therapy, I am also a regular at a mental health online forum.  I’m putting in volunteer applications and following up with said applications.

I am not perfect, and while I love therapy, I think that change starts with me.  I recently ended a (best) friendship with someone who is also an ex of mine.  It was difficult and left me a mess at first.  But I am realizing I can survive without him, and ultimately, I deserve better.  I can be really hard on myself.  Scratch that, I am really hard on myself.  I’m working on this.  I am also trying to be more mindful of my emotional reactivity online and with my family.  I tend to resist social things, quite a bit.  And, while I don’t really know *why* I do this, I know I’ve been doing it for a long time, it’s a habit of sorts probably, and that it is good / healthy for me to do social things usually.  I am most probably an introvert, but when I’m alone for too long, I get even more depressed.  Unless I’m overwhelmed (which, I can be) it’s best to push / nudge myself to go to these things.

Welcome to my blog!  I intend to blog everyday at 5 pm.  See you tomorrow 🙂